Everything You Are (Jukebox Heroes 3) Read online

  Brian gave me a lopsided grin. “Yeah. Exactly.”

  “Seth told me the same thing, back at New Year’s. I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

  I told him about the conversation I’d had with London a few days before, and I explained how Chris had rearranged his plans to suit my needs.

  “It’s nice. I don’t love him like I love London, but...I don’t know.”

  “Life isn’t one of those romantic comedies that Dylan likes to make me watch with her. You don’t have to decide the rest of your life in the next ninety minutes.”

  I laughed. “That’s good. I can’t even commit to a hairstyle for more than six months, I sure don’t want to try to plot out the rest of my life.”

  “Whatever happens, whatever you decide, no one’s going to judge you. And I’ll be behind you one hundred percent.”

  “Me, too.”

  I looked over my shoulder to see Dylan standing in the doorway. I had no idea how long she’d been standing there, but I figured ‘long enough’ was a safe bet.

  She gave me a wicked grin. “So. When do we get to meet bachelor number two?”

  I giggled, startled when it sounded almost hysterical. I took a deep breath and tugged my phone out of my pocket to check the time.

  “His flight should be on the ground by now. He should be home in another half-hour or so.” I tossed the phone onto the bed. “Come on,” I added, standing up and holding a hand out to Brian. “I’ll show you guys the rest of the house.”

  Soon after I’d finished the little tour, I heard the unmistakable sound of Chris’s car pulling up outside. Brian peeked out the window, caught sight of Chris’s Charger, and let out a low whistle.

  “Yeah,” I said, “he’s got good taste.”

  Brian wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Yeah, he does.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  It took all of five minutes for Chris’s natural charm to win over Brian and Dylan. We all stood around chit-chatting for a few minutes before Chris excused himself to shower off the grime and stress of travel. The shower seemed to refresh him a little, but I could tell he was still tired. Despite his exhaustion, Chris insisted that he needed to check in on Joseph and Haven. Brian and Dylan wanted to see the club, so we rode over together, grabbing fast food burgers on the way.

  After everyone was introduced, the guys ended up in a conversation about music gear that went over my head, so Dylan and I wandered off to find a pool table. We only played a couple of games before Joseph sent Chris home to sleep. Even though it was sort of early, Dylan and Brian were beat as well. Everyone headed to bed, including me. I knew I wouldn’t sleep anytime soon, but I didn’t mind getting in some cuddle time with Chris.

  I thought that Chris was asleep when I pulled my phone out from under my pillow and checked the time. It was after midnight. I slid it back under the pillow and reached for Benny.

  Chris’s arm tightened around me the slightest bit.

  “Happy birthday, Beth,” he murmured.

  I wrapped Chris’s arm around me even tighter, twining our fingers together. It was a good start to my birthday, a good start to any day, really. I closed my eyes and savored the feeling, but it was a long time before I fell asleep.

  Waking up in Chris’s arms was an even better beginning to my birthday than falling asleep with him had been. I tried not to examine the feeling too closely.

  Once everyone was awake and fed, we discussed plans for the day. Alex and Blas would be coming into town for dinner later, but we had half a day ahead of us before then. We decided to go for the unorthodox and try to recapture a little of our lost youth by going to one of those entertainment complexes that offers video games, billiards, and mini golf. We had a little too much fun blowing things up in the arcade, and then Chris proved himself the skeeball king. We all sucked at mini golf, and we spent more time talking and singing along with the jukebox than we did concentrating on our pool games. It was a perfect day.

  Alex and Blas met us at Chris’s place, arriving just a few minutes after we got back from the arcade. Alex greeted Dylan with a massive bear hug. I didn’t think he was ever going to let go, and he might not have if he hadn’t been eager to meet Brian. We broke up into two groups to drive to dinner, and I ended up in Alex’s car with him and Dylan while everyone else rode in the Challenger. Alex engineered it that way, wanting to get us alone to debate London versus Chris.

  “My love life is not a committee decision,” I told him.

  Aside from that, Alex was on his best behavior – something I wouldn’t have been assured of had London been there.

  The conversation at dinner was as tasty, filling, and varied as the food was. Everyone was having a good time, and I felt like it might just be one of the best birthdays I’d ever had. Then my phone rang in my pocket, startling me, and I almost sent my drink flying as I tried to set it back on the table. I fished the phone out and glanced at the caller ID.

  “I have to take this,” I said and then fled.

  I answered as I stepped out the front door of the restaurant, just before the call would have gone to voice mail.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey yourself. Happy birthday.”

  “Thank you,” I said. I looked around for a place to sit and ended up cross the parking lot to sit on the trunk of Alex’s car.

  London asked me how my day was going, and I gave him a brief recap. I asked what their lead had turned up, and his answer wasn’t encouraging.

  “More questions,” he said with a sigh. “And still no answers.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Maybe we’ll have better luck tomorrow.”

  “I hope so.”

  I hugged myself as best I could without dropping the phone. The night had turned chilly, and I’d left my jacket behind in my hurry to get outside. My teeth must have been chattering, because London could tell I was freezing. I explained the situation.

  “Go back inside, Em,” he said. “Enjoy the rest of your night. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  We said ‘I love you’ and ‘good night’ and hung up, and I hurried back into the warmth of the restaurant. I stopped before I got to my table, taking a moment to watch my friends. Yeah, it really had been a great day.

  Over the next couple of days, I found myself studying Chris. He was generous with his time and money, and he was kind and compassionate and fun to be around. He was a good listener and just about the most patient man I’d ever met. He had his faults – jealousy, a quick temper at times, and a tendency to be somewhat overprotective and overbearing. He wasn’t perfect, he wasn’t a saint, but he was a good man and a good friend. And he was good for me.

  I thought again about what Seth had said – that I needed to decide what I wanted, learn what my guys wanted, and see if those things matched up. I still hadn’t decided what I wanted or needed in the long run, but for now, I knew I wanted to be happy and I wanted Chris to be happy. If we could make each other a little happier, then I didn’t see why we shouldn’t do just that.

  I was still turning these thoughts over in my mind a few days later when I drove Dylan and Brian to the airport on my way to work.

  “You know where we are if you need us,” Dylan reminded me as I hugged her goodbye.

  Brian hugged me, too, then tilted my head up so that I looked him in the eye. “Remember – be happy. All right?”

  I nodded and hugged him again. Then I climbed back into my rattle-trap and headed off to work. By the time I got off work, I was a nervous wreck. I’d made up my mind what I wanted to do – at least in the short-term – but I wasn’t sure how or if it would work out.

  Chris looked up, surprised, when I walked in the door. I hadn’t been expecting him to be home; I thought he’d be at the club until at least two in the morning, so I had anticipated having another couple of hours to think things over.

  I’d spent half the workday and the entire drive plotting what to do and say. In that instant, I chucked it all out the proverbial wind
ow and acted on pure instinct. I dropped my bag by the door and crossed the living room. I stood looking down at Chris for just a moment before climbing onto his lap and kissing him for all I was worth, trying to tell him what I no longer had the words to say.

  After a long moment or two, he pulled back enough to look into my eyes. “Beth?”

  I gave my head a tiny shake and leaned in to kiss him again, but he took my face in his hands before I could. He looked into my eyes, searching for something. In his, I saw all sorts of unasked questions. After a long, long moment, he gave a tiny nod and kissed me. I knew he’d reached the same conclusion that I had earlier: there would be time for talk later; all that mattered right now was this very moment. He eased me off of his lap and stood.

  “You sure about this?” he asked.

  I stepped forward to wrap my arms around him, resting my head against his chest. “Very.”

  I felt his breath hitch and then his hands in my hair. “Okay, then.”

  He leaned down to kiss me again, and then he took my hand and led me to his bedroom.

  We took our time, learning every inch of each other’s bodies, mapping each other’s skin with fingertips and lips and teeth and tongues. And over and over we paused to kiss each other breathless. There was no hurry, no sense of urgency. No plane to catch, no gig to get to. We had all the time in the world, and we took full advantage of it.

  After, I held him close, my fingertips tracing a figure-eight over his warm, damp skin as his breathing evened out into the slow, steady rhythm of sleep, and I vowed to myself that he would never know how guilty I felt about taking this final, fatal step. I’d made my choice, the choice to put myself first, and there was no going back. All I could do now was face each day as it came, hoping that the guilt and pain would fade with time and that someday the three of us would all find the happiness we deserved.

  To learn more about the author or her favorite bands, visit her home page at http://kishi.netdojo.com, her Facebook fan page at http://www.facebook.com/lbwrites, or her blog at http://lbwrites.tumblr.com.

  Also visit http://www.grahamcolton.com to hear the song that inspired this book’s title.

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  Look for Whatever It Takes, Jukebox Heroes book four, coming soon.

  Also available, The Hand of Fate, book one of Jukebox Heroes series:

  With her 30th birthday on the horizon and life handing her lemon after lemon, Dylan Connelly wants nothing more than to get away from it all for a few days. The last thing she expected – or wanted – was to become intrigued by a gorgeous stranger. But sometimes chance – or fate -- has a way of changing our plans.

  AND

  Call Out, book two of the Jukebox Heroes series:

  An unexpected phone call from her best friend’s rock star boyfriend pulls 35-year-old Elizabeth Morgan out of the comfort and safety of her quiet, normal life and into a situation she could never have imagined even in her wildest nightmares. The world as she knows it changes forever in the blink of an eye, forcing her to reassess everything she thought she knew about reality, when she finds herself facing a world where terrorists can sling magic as well as bullets, everyone is both more and less than they seem, and even her own thoughts and feelings are suspect.